I’m sure that at some point in our lives, each one of us has asked ourselves, ‘Should I hire an escort?’ The religious fanatics and the hardcore feminists out there would slice your little buddy into shreds if they ever found out you would even consider such a thing, but think of it this way: you’re only paying for a date. A very expensive date, but nonetheless, just a date. Legally, escorts are being paid for their time. Whatever else they wanted to do during that time is completely up to them. Maybe she just couldn’t resist your charm and decided to ‘get comfortable’. You’re both adults – that’s legal.
Anyway, hiring an escort is beneficial. In Grand Theft Auto IV, your health automatically replenishes whenever you hire an escort. Sure it costs a lot more, but when the nearest safe house is too far away, escorts are the way to go. Escorts are a lot more fun than safe houses anyway. Coming back to reality, escorts in real life are also just trying to make an honest living. As like anyone else, being an escort is their profession of choice. So why not stimulate the economy while being stimulated yourself? What goes around comes around.
Don’t try this at home
If you are indeed contemplating hiring an escort, do read the following to see if you fall into any of the categories. If you do, hesitate no more – take the plunge. Now.
Shy people should definitely hire escorts. If any of you have watched the Big Bang Theory, you will know that Raj has ‘select mutism’ – a disorder responsible for his inability to talk to women (or so he claims). Though none of you have Raj’s extreme shyness, being shy around women can be a very insufferable experience. If you hire an escort however, you don’t have to worry about impressing her to make her stay – they are already yours. Not having to say something witty or charming to make an attractive woman stay usually puts most people at ease, and you will soon realize how easy it is to actually speak to women. If you still feel shyness taking over you, don’t fret. Most are pretty intelligent and are able to hold up interesting one-sided conversations.
Just let her do all the talking
No, these two words do not go well together. Men were not made to be virgins. If you are a man virgin, and you are tired of having a relationship with your right hand (or left hand if you’re a leftie), then son, it is time you became a man. First, let us get something straight: I am not telling you to hire an escort for sex – that’s kind of illegal. With that being said, you can be very charming and win her over. This works especially well if you are a young man and just want to gain some experience with a woman. They are pros at what they do, and they will definitely be able to teach you a thing or two. This experience will also lay the foundation for all your future relationships with women, so really, you are actually investing in yourself. Meeting women in future will be a piece of cake.
Get a mature sexy woman to teach you things you moves you never knew possible
Getting bored of burning your money in the fireplace? Why not use it for a good cause – hire a call girl instead. With your money, you can dress her up to look like a million bucks and bring her to fancy events. Everyone would just think that she’s some fancy high end model. Why should you do that? Simply because you CAN. It’s one of the many perks of being rich, and I suggest you take advantage of it. I’ve known people who have hired the same escort enough times to put her through cosmetology school AND pay for their plastic enhance- I mean, surgery. With that being said, some rich guys just like to show girls a good time and shower them with attention…all while their friends are watching on. Time to put on a show.
I’m rich, bitch.
Coming out of the closet can be a hard thing. I mean, coming out to society in general is fine, but coming out to your friends and family? That’s the problem. This is why some people just choose to never come out at all. But what happens as the years go by and you still don’t bring back anyone for thanksgiving dinner? What do you tell Aunt Gloria when she asks again why a fine man like you hasn’t have a girlfriend yet? How do you respond to your grandmother’s demands for great-grandchildren? Sure you’re going to come out of the close when you’re ready, but to escape from all the temporary pressure, I suggest you hire an escort in the meantime. Don’t worry about your family seeing through the façade either, because ONE: escorts are experienced and can play any part, and TWO: this is a very helpful guide.
Sexy lesbian escorts…mmhm..
People who just came out of a bad relationship are usually weary of putting themselves out in the market again – especially divorcees. They crave human companionship but are afraid of being hurt. They are afraid that they might meet someone who even slightly resembles their ex. Who wants to go through that nightmare again? No one! But this doesn’t mean that you should become a monk either, you wouldn’t survive a day in a monastery. Do you know that monks can’t have sex, ever? Now that I’ve got you attention, let me tell you that all is not lost. Escorts are really a great way to relieve loneliness…they listen to all your problems, know the right things to say, and are just there for you. Kind of like a therapist, just smokin’ hot.
Or you could just buy this bed sheet. It’s substantially cheaper
If you are on the fence about hiring an escort, I hope this article has helped you made your decision. Just relax and loosen up, you’ve paid a lot of money for her, and she in turn will ensure that you will have a great time. In other news, who else do you think should hire an escort? Let us know in the comments below!